$57 for a Holiday Free-Range-Meat Variety Pack from John Henry's Meats ($115 Value)
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In a Nutshell
Organic, free-range farm cuts packages of steak, bacon, and chicken breasts onsite and delivers them to doorsteps for an additional charge
The Fine Print
Expires 90 days after purchase.
Limit 1 per person, may buy 1 additional as a gift. Reservation required.
Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services.
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Among encased-meat products, handmade sausage is the most delightful, followed closely by a saddlebag filled with jerky and a can of Spam crammed inside a larger can of Spam. Encase meats in your mitts with this Groupon.
$57 for a Free-Range-Meat Variety Pack with Holiday Wrapping ($115 Value)
Two 8- to 12-ounce new york strip steaks
1 pound of hickory-smoked bacon
1 pound of smoked summer sausage
Two 6- to 8-ounce boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 pound of ground turkey
Quarter pound of beef jerky or turkey jerky
Delivery is available to most of the metro Detroit area for an additional $10. Pickup is available at the Royal Oak Farmers' Market and must be scheduled ahead of time.
John Henry's Meats
With more than 30 years of farming experience, John Henry's Meats provisions tables with farm-fresh cuts of organic beef, pork, and poultry raised without added hormones or antibiotics on free-range pastures in Michigan. All meats are prepared in the farm's own USDA-inspected kitchen, with butchers slicing grass-fed beef into succulent roasts, stew meat, and steaks, which clients can order cut to their preferred thickness or in the shape of a favorite celebrity. To round out the protein palette, John Henry's prepares its own summer sausage and beef jerky, and sources free-range pork and poultry from neighboring farms. Orders may be picked up from Royal Oak Farmer's Market, delivered directly to doorsteps for a $10 fee, or transmitted electronically into brain synapses.
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Daily Engagement Module
The Groupon Guide to: Limousines
Limousines are high-class luxury vehicles full of superstars, and like the saying goes, "If you're going to be part of the limo nation/You'd better have some info-mation." Here's a guide to what you can expect to find on the inside of any given limo:
Men in suits being used as chairs by men in tuxedos
A woman screaming because her head is sticking out of the top of a moving vehicle
Neon lights that spell out "Wear Your Seatbelt"
Flat-screen TVs showing the famous scene where Herbie kisses Steph the Limo in The Love Bug
Bar stocked with Vroom vodka, the only alcohol designed to meet the specific needs of people who are in a limo on their way somewhere
Partition to keep the driver from hearing you wonder aloud if commoners are actually the happy ones
Tinted windows to keep light from shining onto the passengers' soft, wet eyes
A toilet that flushes with champagne instead of water