Poetry would be composed entirely of haikus and sonnets dedicated to cakes and pastries if poets didn't devour their idyllic subjects before having a chance to write. Say what meter and rhythm cannot with today's Groupon to Lisa's Rum Cake (formerly Cathy's Rum Cake Worldwide) in Gilbert. Choose between the following options:
- For $25, you get $50 worth of cakes.
- For $15, you get $30 worth of cakes.
Cakes must be preordered and are available for pickup or for delivery at additional cost.
Long celebrated as a precious pastry institution, Lisa's Rum Cake slathers rich italian whipped-cream frosting over alternating layers of moist vibrantly colored cake and italian-rum custard. An eclectic roster of classic varieties, such as strawberry-banana amaretto, chocolate cream, and raspberry chocolate, wedges into open mouths to keep them from spilling Police Academy plot spoilers ($30).
Tradition is shipped off to creative boot camp to create Lisa's New Generation menu, teeming with newfangled sweet-tooth satisfiers such as the sharply dressed tuxedo, chocolate-enhanced cannoli, and red velvet infused with raspberries ($30). Customers can tailor their cakes to taste at no additional charge, tacking on curling ribbons and personalized messages, making it easy to celebrate extremely special occasions such as Baby's First Skydive and backyard space shuttle launches.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Fairy-Tale Survival
Such modern perils as computer viruses and man-eating lightning might endanger the lives of today, but they can't hold a beef-tallow candle to the terrors of yesteryear. If you find yourself transported back in time by a bolt of radioactive lightning or trapped within the pages of a cursed children's menu, consult these timeless tips for fairy-tale survival:
Do not become a father: Fairy tales are killing grounds for biological parents, especially single fathers. If you do find yourself in the role of unmarried progenitor, remarry immediately—children need a stepmother figure in their lives to help them step in the right direction. Consider asking out that woman from deep in the woods, the one who's always clutching a glistening too-red apple in a halo of green smoke. Her constant cackling is sure to warm any heart and home.
Do not reveal your name: In the fairy-tale world, as in junior high, having an embarrassing name robs you of all your power—just ask Rumpelstiltskin, who gambled his secret identity as collateral to win a newborn. To avoid eventual discovery, embarrassment, and spontaneous explosion from stomping your foot, try acquiring a fairy-tale baby the old-fashioned way—by looking on any doorstep, riverbank, or oversize toadstool. But remember the axiom—babies are cooing, 8-pound death warrants.
Do not talk to animals: Even the ones that claim to grant wishes are just messing with you. Besides, your first and only wish would probably be to eat a wish-granting animal anyhow.
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