One of the great risks of traveling the computer highway is contracting the computer virus. If you receive an email with a suspicious link, read this now:

• Click on the link. If it takes you to a site that boasts Miracle Weight Loss Chowder or Grow Hair Everywhere Even Inside and Never Wonder Why, this is probably not a virus, just a helpful suggestion from a concerned friend.
  

• If it is a virus, email the person who sent it to you. Ask if they meant to spam you. Chances are they were actually trying to get rid of a virus by sending it to trash@garbagemail.net and just typed your name by accident.
  

• Turn on your computer's spam-blocking filter. This will automatically get rid of any email that isn't from a blood relative, parole officer, or shoe website with wonderful sale prices.
  

• Get offline for a while. The best way to escape from a computer virus is to unplug, disconnect, and spend a few weeks shouting your feelings at neighbors instead of pouring them into an uncaring, soulless social network.