According to an old saying, your home is your castle, your television is your court jester, and your dog is your moat. Repel invading mildew hordes with today's Groupon: for $99, you get an exterior house cleaning for up to 2,000 square feet from Mandrell's Pressure Cleaning (up to a $200 value). Mandrell's cleaners service Gainesville, Alachua, Archer, Brooker, High Springs, Keystone Heights, Starke, and Ocala.
Mandrell's home polishers focus their commercial-grade exterior scrubbers onto besotted homes to annihilate the algae, mold, and mildew that commonly creep up on unwitting denizens. During the exterior house washing, cleansers harness the brightening powers of special nontoxic chemical blends to effectively erase dirt, grime, and mud-drawn portraits of Little Richard. Though their hoses are capable of up to 4000 PSI, water-wielders keep pressure as low as necessary to prevent damage to paint, wood, and window seals. Scour-masters scrub brick, vinyl, wood, stucco, and other surface materials to help to reduce interior heat, allergen levels, and bad puns about fungi. The time the service takes depends on the size of the house.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Winning at Board Games
Board games are as popular as ever, as evidenced by their frequent adaptation into upcoming movies, apps, and new flavors of dog food. Here are some tips for winning some of the most well-known board games:
Monopoly: Psych out your opponents by supplying your own game piece, such as a tiny pewter statue of yourself winning at Monopoly or a freshly removed tooth.
Clue: Save yourself some time by jumping straight to the accusation. The murderer is always the bald guy with glasses from Guess Who?.
Fergluffen: Pass the Fergluffen to the person on your immediate left. If they pass the Fergluffen back, you both Fergluffen, but don't worry. Neither of you have Rochestered. Fergluffen!
Battleship: Dump a thing of Sprite all over the board, simulating the frothy, lemon-limey, carbonated waters of war. Your opponent won't be able to stomach the gritty realism.
Don't Wake Daddy: Don't wake daddy.
Mouse Trap: Avoid getting caught in the Mouse Trap by kicking it over as soon as your younger brother is done building it.
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