Before wintertime hibernation, bicycles forage and fill their inner tubes with enough sustenance to feed training-wheeled cubs come spring, a noble act that often leads to serious exhaustion. Help spin the spokes of life with today's Groupon to Mello Velo Bicycle Shop. Choose from the following options:
- For $5, you get $10 worth of cafe fare and drinks.
- For $10, you get a punch card valid for five large drinks (up to a $20 value).
- For $25, you get a complete bicycle tune-up (a $55 value).
- For $45, you get a deluxe bicycle tune-up (a $95 value).
The dexterous staff of Mello Velo Bicycle Shop crafts delectable café fare and espresso-based libations with their hands while their feet fit bikes with comprehensive tune-ups. Patrons perk up after long nights of googling photos of Donald Sutherland with creamy cappuccinos ($3/12 oz.) and rich mochas ($4/16 oz.), which they can pair with locally sourced snacks such as a smoked gouda, pear, and bacon panini ($6.95) or a couscous salad ($4.99). During the complete bike tune-up, a cycle specialist adjusts the front and rear brakes and correctly positions front and rear derailleurs. Front and rear wheels undergo a truing treatment to straighten them out and ensure they cannot be turned into Communist spies before the ride wrangler adjusts hubs, headsets, and bottom brackets and lubricates chains and cables. The deluxe bike tune-up takes the complete treatment a step further, adding on a thorough cleaning of cranks, chains, cassettes, and derailleurs.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Common Misconceptions
Many agreed upon "facts" actually have little to no basis in reality but enter societal consensus through word-of-mouth folk wisdom or under-the-table bribes to sleazy scientists. What are some common misconceptions you may not even know you're misconcepting?
Bumblebees are scientifically incapable of flight.
Origin: Unknown
Fact or Falsehood: Close, but not quite accurate. Bumblebees are quite capable of flight, as anyone who has jumped into a swimming pool to outrace a swarm of them in the shape of a giant fist may attest. What bumblebees are actually incapable of is forgiveness.
Glass is technically a liquid.
Origin: Common misspeaking
Fact or Falsehood: Falsehood. What people mean to say is that a liquid can technically be consumed from a glass. The myth is perpetuated by the increased thickness near the base of centuries-old glass panes, which is actually just a manufacturer's feature to keep spiders out.
A penny dropped from the roof of the Empire State Building will crack the sidewalk.
Origin: Childhood dare culture
Fact or Falsehood: Understatement. Upon impact, a penny dropped from the top of the Empire State Building will destroy the entire earth. This has happened twice, once in 1972, and then again in 1972, with the calendar having been restarted upon the construction of a new earth and, subsequently, a new Empire State Building.
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