Hair is like detailed knowledge of X-Files plotlines—while extremely useful, revealing too much of it in the wrong place can sink your social life. Today's Groupon beams hair directly into oblivion: for $188, you get a six-treatment laser hair-removal package for one area at The Metropolitan Institute for Plastic Surgery in the West End (up to a $1,110 value). All six treatments must be used on the same area of the body.
The Metropolitan Institute for Plastic Surgery is staffed by a trio of award-winning plastic surgeons who are highly capable of blasting away unwanted follicles from your choice of chin (normally $135 per treatment), neck (normally $135 per), upper lip (normally $100 per), underarms (normally $135 per), or bikini line (normally $185 per). Typically, the treatments will take place at recommended four- to eight-week intervals, enabling maximum depilation and ensuring maximum hairlessness. The treatment times vary depending on the size of the treated area.
Laser light is a quick, nearly painless, and effective method for removing unwanted hair. A long-pulse, high-energy laser emits a gentle beam of light that harmlessly passes through the skin and directly targets follicles, effectively treating unwanted hair. Unlike the lasers utilized by popular film hero and 2010 California gubernatorial hopeful, Iron Man, these friendly beams are easy, comfortable, and treat hair follicles faster than other methods. Because the contrast between the color of your hair and the color of your skin determines how effective laser hair removal is, the doctors and staff will help determine if you are a good candidate for the procedure. Call ahead to schedule your appointment.
This Groupon is only valid for the chin, neck, upper lip, underarms, or bikini line.
Groupon Says
Future Imperfect
The future is a place where humanity will fondly remember the days when we paid money to have lasers shot at us. But laser avoidance is only one of the hassles faced by citizens of the future. Others include:
- The nigh unavoidable computer virus, Robotulism
- Global worming
- The Earth's rotation causes half the globe to be plunged into darkness for hours at a time
- Roving gangs of rabid, unemployed bloggers
- Mass confusion caused by a whole generation being named Percy
- Entire barren Southwest renamed Cormac McCarthy State Park
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