Though most philosophers agree that one doesn’t need to have shoes, they all agree one ought to—except for Diogenes of Sinope, who disagreed with everything. Simplify shopping for logically sound and fashionably argumentative earth-pounding adornment with today's Groupon: for $30, you get $70 worth of footwear from MustHaveShoes.com.

MustHaveShoes.com's interactive site pairs feet with stylish new friends, crunching metrics that include size, price range, and style before suggesting pairs that match your ultra-specific criteria. Enter in a keyword or characteristic such as "sexy" or “Paleolithic,” then page through options such as Madeline Gabean's glam sidewalk stompers in chili-pepper red ($59). Typing in brands such as Poetic Licence brings up more than 50 different styles of heels, flats, and sandals, and keying in cryptic words such as "weird" returns a mishmash of ocular delights, including Electrica Love in silver pink ($146). MustHaveShoes.com speeds its carefully packaged cargo via UPS ground shipping free of charge or passive-aggressive Post-it notes.