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Orlando Sentinel – Redeem from Home

$10 for One-Year Sunday-Only Subscription to the "Orlando Sentinel" ($85.08 Value)

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Mon Jul 02 03:59:59 UTC 2012
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In a Nutshell

Award-winning newspaper reports local and national news, entertainment, cooking, family life, art, and travel stories

The Fine Print

Of all the things available for subscription, newspapers have remained the favorite ever since the postmaster general banned beehive-of-the-month clubs. Stay on top of the latest buzz with this Groupon.

$10 for a One-Year Sunday-Only Subscription ($85.08 Value)

Customers can have their newspaper delivered to an address within any of the eligible zip codes. Subscriptions will begin July 15.

Orlando Sentinel

For more than 130 years, the Orlando Sentinel has kept communities abreast of local, regional, national, and international news, garnering multiple Pulitzer Prizes thanks to the talents of writers and editors. Today, the editorial team keeps that tradition of in-depth journalism thriving. Sports reporters chronicle the accolades of the Florida Gators and Orlando Magic through roster ratings and staff interviews, and roving travel correspondents regale readers with vivid descriptions of vacation spots and the best islands to get shipwrecked on. Business writers tell of strategic changes to area businesses and help readers stay informed about economic changes in the market. A rotating slate of daily features sections, such as Cooking/Eating, Entertainment, and Style & Home, highlight intriguing goings-on. Sunday editions double down on news coverage and weigh down doorsteps with a bevy of coupons, as well as lighthearted comics that give subscribers a chance to laugh at the very real tragedy of cat obesity caused by lasagna addiction.

Orlando Sentinel

For more than 130 years, the Orlando Sentinel has kept communities abreast of local, regional, national, and international news, garnering multiple Pulitzer Prizes thanks to the talents of writers and editors including Jeff Brazil, Jane Healy, and John. C. Bersia. Today, the editorial team keeps that tradition of in-depth journalism thriving. Sports reporters chronicle the accolades of the Florida Gators and Orlando Magic through roster ratings and staff interviews, and roving travel correspondents regale readers with vivid descriptions of vacation spots and the best islands to get shipwrecked on. Business writers tell of strategic changes to area businesses and help readers stay informed about economic changes in the market.

A rotating slate of daily features sections, such as Cooking/Eating, Entertainment, and Style & Home, highlight intriguing goings-on. Sunday editions double down on news coverage and weigh down doorsteps with a bevy of coupons, as well as lighthearted comics that give subscribers a chance to laugh at the very real tragedy of cat obesity caused by lasagna addiction.

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Groupon Says

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The Groupon Guiding Light: Real Advice for Real People

It is incumbent upon the learned of a society to help those with lesser cranial machinations. That is why we have started The Groupon Guiding Light: Real Advice for Real People. Because here at The Groupon Guide, we know that Knowledge Is Helping™. (To receive your own Groupon Guiding Light in the next installment, email a problem that needs advice to cat@groupon.com.)

Problem:
Dear TGGL:RAFRP,
My bf of five years still won’t move in with me. Should I stick with him or move on?
—B. Sanderson

Guiding Light: Many advicetronauts (industry term) would suggest that you analyze whether or not this relationship is going anywhere. That’s dumb. Perhaps your house is not cool enough. How many marble pillars are there? If you are able to tally them without losing count, the answer is not enough. Make it nice. Hang some paintings of old Italian horses fighting or bowls with fruit in them. Get it together, B. Sanderson.

Problem:
Dear TGGL:RAFRP,
My dog has been acting really strange lately. He wakes me up barking and sometimes even growls at me and bares his teeth. What should I do?
—Tony R.

Guiding Light: Dogs are beautiful, innocent creatures whose eyes seek justice and whose hearts live in the truth. Your dog is angry because it knows about all of your wrongdoings (slander, pickpocketing, lewd art, bad body smells, etc.) and now it wants to hold you accountable. Let your perfect pooch shower its wrath upon your home and family so that you can finally be free of sin.

Problem:
Dear TGGL:RAFRP,
I'm 24 and still unsure what to do with my life. I tried art and wasn't any good and didn't excel at photography. I hate corporate culture. Please help me find direction.
—Laura D.

Guiding Light: According to an online personality quiz we took on your behalf, you're a Seeker, Not a Five-Days-a-Weeker! Continue pursuing various idle hobbies, ideally at the expense of a parent or significant other. Eventually you may find one you excel at—if not, you can always move to a country where idleness is appreciated, i.e. every country but America.

Problem:
Dear TGGL:RAFRP,
I'm not good at cooking, but I told this girl I was. She's coming over for a dinner date next week and I have no idea what to do. What is an easy way to look like a good cook?
—Stephen B.

Guiding Light: If you aren't the best chef, fool her by wearing one of those floppy chef hats and using fake skin to cover your hands in thick, hideous calluses, which professional chefs have from years of handling frying pans with no gloves. Also, I guess buy some food from a food store.

Seriously, to receive your own Groupon Guiding Light in the next installment, email a problem that needs advice to cat@groupon.com.

Our advice is so good, sometimes we even ask ourselves (for advice).