Since meteorologists attend a rigorous eight-year weather-school program, most of which is spent learning how to drive a Doppler radar, they are able to describe the current weather with 100% accuracy. If your favorite weatherperson is telling you that it's raining, here are some devices you can use to stay dry:

Umbrella: The first umbrella consisted of only a metal skeletal system and, instead of being used to stay dry in the rain, was used to rake large, tabletop zen gardens. The umbrella can only be used to block rain when combined with a canopy made of a waterproof material, such as nylon coated in candle wax or seal skin.

Raincoat: This wearable umbrella was originally constructed with rubber, which, like paper and caskets, is derived from trees. Though the raincoat offers more mobility than an umbrella, it does not allow you to poke people from a safe distance.

Silica Gel Packets: Silica gel packets can be found in the pockets of brand-new leather jackets, slurping up excessive moisture to keep them from feeling too much like skin. These packets will have the same drying effect on your body when swallowed and absorbed into your body's ecosystem. If you can't find silica packets, cover yourself in blood, because it is thicker than water and will repel it.