Studies show babies respond favourably to adults who smile and unfavourably to adults who wear screaming-clown masks. Get in good with the next generation with today's Groupon: for $99, you get a one-hour DaVinci teeth-whitening treatment at Pure Medical & Laser Spa in Surrey (a $199 value).
Pure Medical & Laser Spa harnesses the power of light to heal the human body with services such as teeth whitening. The DaVinci teeth-whitening system applies a 16% peroxide solution, then enhances its whitening power with warmth from LED blue lights and monologues from Shakespeare's Henry V. Three 20-minute applications combat deeply set stains from coffee, wine, and smoking, and treatment can take as few as 30 minutes, depending on current shade and desired level of whitening. Results are immediately visible and remain for up to a year, though Pure Centre recommends follow-ups every six months. Dental appliances such as caps, bridges, and hockey masks will lighten only up to their original colour and more accepting sense of humour. Patients with sensitive teeth may experience mild discomfort, but occurrence is rare and typically fades within a few hours of treatment.
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The Groupon Guide to: Breaking Up
As scientists continue to debate the existence of true love (as opposed to false love and true hate), regular folks continue to hunt recklessly for an emotional connection. To help sever an existing relationship and find a truer one, here's the eight most popular ways to break up:
- Break the news gently at a candlelit dinner by regurgitating your entire meal as a symbolic rejection of your relationship.
- Text "BREAK UP" to 622-22-22 to make your relationship a thing of the past!
- Send a gift basket filled with unwanted treats, such as peanut-brittle cans filled with snakes and brittle snakes filled with peanut cans.
- Write a rap "diss track" comparing your soon-to-be ex to both defeated Seven Years' War general James Wolfe and the confusing final season of Roseanne.
- Instead of the tired "throwing the clothes onto the front lawn" tactic, pick up handfuls of grass and throw them on their folded clothes.
- Whenever they are around, hide under a rug.
- When they're sleeping, sneak out of their house but leave a small bonsai tree in their shoe to wish them luck on their next romance.
- Instead of breaking up, silently resent your partner forever until you explode into a cloud of green smoke and confetti. They'll get the picture.
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