Pirate captains searched for the ultimate voyage companion by testing the sea legs of giraffes and the loyalty of guinea pigs before settling for the relationship advice and shoulder massages offered by parrots. Find your own seaworthy friend with today’s Groupon: for $5, you get admission to Pyrate Fest 2010 (a $10 value for adults, a $7 value for seniors 60 and older and children ages 6–12), to be held on Sunday, September 19, at the Metal Museum in Memphis.
Pyrate Fest 2010 will serve as the ultimate celebration of the 14th annual Talk Like a Pirate Day, a cherished American tradition. Sunday’s schedule includes rousing sea shanties with Pepe the Pyrate, a black-powder cannon demonstration with Sir Smitty, Celtic fiddle performances, and hearty bouts of peg-leg shuffling. Bring out your black beards, blue beards, and sequined bandanas for the Pyrate Parade, followed by costume competitions for children and adults, a tête-à-tête pirate-lingo-slinging contest, and a pelvis-shaking, plank-walking pirate Elvis impersonator challenge.
A variety of sea and landlubbing merchants will be on hand to hawk beautiful leathercraft, metal workings, pirate garb, miracle scurvy-curing beverages, and tasty salty sea dogs. There will be drinks of the rabble-rousing and simply hydrating variety, as well as a pirate playship for young buccaneers. Cancel plans to raid, pillage, and loot the local shopping mall's fountain and instead opt for safer maritime mischief with Pyrate Fest 2010.
Groupon Says
Pirates: Myth or Fiction?
Though most historians agree that the modern notion of a pirate is a wholly fabricated archetype cobbled together from the personal diaries of a few eccentric sailors and dubious oral accounts from elderly talking parrots, there are a few gray hairs of truth nestled in the bushy black beard of pirate mythology:
Myth: Pirates had hooks for hands.
Truth: Actually, most pirates had hooks for feet, enabling them to dig into the deck for stability to keep from constantly toppling over on the tumultuous seas. This is where we get the expression "sea legs."
Myth: Pirates buried their gold under a big "X."
Truth: Yes and no. Pirates, like all sensible human beings, did go out of their way to bury their money in inaccessible areas. However, most pirates were illiterate and therefore unfamiliar with the letter X. Instead, they typically marked their burial sites with a mound of starfish or a trustworthy-looking dog that was very specifically told to "stay."
Myth: Some pirates had crazy octopus faces.
Truth: Most pirates had crazy octopus faces.
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