A family outing fosters lifelong memories while giving houses the chance to molt in private. Leave your domicile to its own devices with today's Groupon: for $99, you get a half-day jet-ski rental at Rick's Rent-A-Boat in Chula Vista (up to a $240 value).
The staff at Rick's Rent-A-Boat facilitates maritime merriment and panoramic coastal views with a fleet of well-maintained jet skis. Atop a Kawasaki or Honda aqueous steed, one pilot and up to two passengers zip around on the ocean or the bay for three hours, cruising at exhilarating speeds or jousting with other boats like medieval knights once did and motorcycle warriors will do in the future. All rentals include a life vest and comprehensive instruction, so even nautical neophytes can partake in a half day of cruising. This Groupon does not cover gas for the jet ski—customers can pay the difference after riding a pre-loaded vehicle (usually $30 for three hours) or meet Rick before the jaunt at a gas station to fuel it up themselves.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Lawn Greatness
Though the lawns of Europe eschew grass in favor of a thick layer of unpainted concrete, many American lawns are a veritable pasture of verdant, herbaceous turf. To help your lawn look its best, here are the ranking criteria used by the American Association of American Lawns:
Softness: Is your grass suitable for horseplay or rigid enough to puncture the tires of cars that try to drive into your house? Remember, they're called "blades" because you should cut yourself when you touch them.
Height: Your grass should be at least as high as your town's tallest man, to trap any persons or ocelots who sneak onto your property.
Color: Green is pretty good—if you're into the visible spectrum. Truly beautiful lawns use only colors from the infrared spectrum and thus are invisible to the naked eye.
Ornamentation: Technically, if your lawn doesn't feature a flag from every UN member nation, plus a U.S. flag cut into the size and shape of an eagle, you're breaking numerous treaties.
Gnomes: You must have these. To make sure they don't come alive at night, place them inside mason jars filled with insecticide and then display the jars on your lawn.
Pride: If you love your lawn, it's OK to set it on fire. If it loves you too, it will grow back.
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