Though fake vampire fangs were originally designed to conceal uncleanly teeth, their waxy composition rendered them useless for chewing anything but dough balls dipped in water. Properly protect pointy chompers with today’s Groupon: for $35, you get a comprehensive dental package at Right Dental Group (a $300 value). This Groupon is valid at seven DC-area locations. The dental package includes:
- Exam
- Cleaning
- X-rays
With hundreds of locations across the country, Right Dental Group represents a collection of oral-health-care professionals who deliver a variety of quality dental services. The collective places an emphasis on relationship building—meaning patients can confess their most egregious toffee-apple trespasses while receiving a teeth scrubbing delivered with precision and understanding. Each of the dentists is prescreened for a consistent record of excellence and the ability to efficiently locate a cavity in a toothstack.
A skilled doctor and staff will skillfully probe forgotten mouth corners, eradicating tartar and expunging plaque from bacterial lairs. The included x-rays will help uncover any oral problem areas that cannot be seen with the shamelessly naked eye. After treatment, clients will be privy to tips that explain the proper brushing and flossing techniques to ward off gum disease and tooth loss, ensuring tongue-stoppers remain firmly rooted to the rest of the skeletal system.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Being a Good Friend
Though many of life's accomplishments are important—working as a reading tutor, not setting fire to every mailbox you happen to pass—only one accomplishment matters in the long run: being a good friend. Follow these friendship tips to separating besties from the resties:
• Every time you're drinking something, offer your friend a sip from your glass. If they decline, show them there's nothing to worry about by sterilizing your own mouth with a crème brûlée torch.
• Pick up the check whenever possible—but don’t stop there. Use your intimate knowledge of your friend to glean possible passwords to their online bank accounts and transfer their funds into a high-yield CD just in case they want to save up to go to college again.
• What's your friend's favorite animal? Do they own one yet? Could you conceivably get them one? Keep in mind that the word "impossible" was most likely invented by a bad friend.
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