One of the main attractions of living in this place is its cool roof. There’s gotta be a way to get up there if the last people who lived here were able to do it. Here are some ideas for getting onto that roof:

• Are there stairs we just don’t know about? They would have to be somewhere behind the dumpsters.
• The building next door is pretty close. Do you think it’s safe to jump?
• I bet Santa Claus has been up there. He’s all about roofs.
• Do you think there’s one of those things where you pull something down and it becomes stairs?
• There has to be a way because I saw people with a grill up there once.
• I don’t think the building allows ladders, so it can’t be that.
• I think the people in the top apartment think they’re the only ones who get roof access, but we’re all supposed to share it.
• Do you think we’ll be able to get down from the roof if we do find a way up?
• I heard you can see 100 miles in every direction up there.
• I’m not expecting there to be a pool, but it would just be really cool if there were one.
• Wait, are we on the roof?
• The other day I think I heard a dog or a raccoon up there.
• It’d be a good place to have a party, but I don’t want anyone to fall off the side.
• It’d be really easy to get there if we could just open the window and climb up. But we don’t have any windows. We should ask our landlord for windows.
• I bet it gets slippery up there when it’s icy out.
• Am I too heavy to be thrown up there?
• Honestly, if I had the right tools, I could just make a hole in the ceiling.
• Man, we could do a million things up there. Even water balloons.
• I saw a guy drop a penny from up there and it made a hole in the sidewalk.
• I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately and I think the fresh air would really do me good. Oh man, yeah, it’d be great to have a mattress up there.
• Ropes?
• It’s just that I told a lot of people we had a roof. And everybody’s coming over eventually.
• Someone had to get up there in the first place to install the chimneys.
• Is this something we can sue the landlord over?
• We used to go on the roof of my house growing up and pretend it was a fortress.
• There’s no reason it would be illegal to be up there. We pay rent.
• Man, what I wouldn’t give to be up there right now. Staring at the sun…I’d be free.
• Do you think we need a key?
• I used to be scared of heights, but now I’m not, since I ziplined last summer.
• I hope there’s a toilet up there.
• I’m gonna bring a jacket in case it gets cold at night.
• My cousin’s a fireman.
• I fell off of a roof when I was a kid, but I landed on a trampoline and bounced into a convertible and drove away.