Bodies that are properly cared for perform better, which explains why most Olympic records are held by reanimated mummies. Go for the pharaoh's gold with this Groupon.

$799 for Six Zerona Body-Contouring Treatments ($1,999 Value)

Following a complimentary 15-minute consultation, technicians split time treating patients' fronts and backs over the course of 40-minute Zerona body-contouring treatment. The low-level lasers root out hard-to-exercise subcutaneous deposits and whittle waists by opening fat cells to drain their content, which the body's natural elimination system then flushes away. Each treatment incudes 10 minutes on a vibration training machine, as well as Curva supplements. Depending on body composition, six sessions may be enough to achieve desired results, but people with this Groupon may purchase additional appointments at a reduced cost if desired, either up to six treatments individually ($99 each) or in one set of six ($599).