Until human feet evolve into penguin flippers, we will have to make do with roller skates and Crocodile Mile to meet our gliding needs. For now, run, slide, hit the bump, and take a dive into today's deal: for $5, you get admission to one public skate session with roller-skate or blade rental included (up to an $11 value) at SkateZone71. Public skating sessions take place Tuesday through Sunday, with convenient morning and evening hours (click to view the schedule). This Groupon is not valid for adults-only skate sessions (Thursday and Sunday, 9:00 p.m. to 12:00 a.m.).
SkateZone71 gives Columbusites an opportune arena in which to practice their en-wheel prancing and pirouetting. Aspiring Olympians can hone the dainty triple axels and swan-like spirals required in roller-derby tournaments on SkateZone71's gleaming wooden track before facing the frigid temperatures and wrathful Zamboni operators of the ice rink. A live DJ aurally adorns each session with different danceable beats, usually drawing from Top 100 hits, hip-hop, and kid-friendly Radio Disney. Mirrored disco balls cast a starlit glow over the track, while the bright, carnival-themed mural brings to mind Diego Rivera's clown-filled dreamscape.
Besides providing a healthier venue for kids’ birthday parties than the abandoned coal mine, few things liven up a date like the hollow hum of roller wheels on wood. Work up the courage to ask the hot-tempered Scottish caretaker from your nephew's middle school for a freewheeling promenade around the rink with today’s Groupon to SkateZone71.
More than 1,200 Facebook users like United Skates of America's SkateZone 71 on Evanswood Drive. Six Insider Pagers give it an average of 3.5 stars, and the rink was mentioned in an article by the Columbus Dispatch in 2008.