Learning how to read is like learning how to ride a bike: without proper instruction, it’s all too easy to end up in a bush. Swiftly study sentences with today’s Groupon: for $129, you get a six-hour Speed Reading 101 class from Speedlearning Institute (a $695 value). Classes are held every Saturday or Sunday from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m., including five hours of class time and one hour for lunch.
Utilized by presidential campaigns, national corporations, and students studying for college-entry exams, Speedlearning Institute’s array of educational techniques aims to boost reading speeds and comprehension abilities by up to 300%. During each six-hour Speed Reading 101 session, instructors divulge the institute’s guiding principles, designed to alleviate common reading snafus and the fear of fast-talking bookshelves. Tutors enlighten students on such subjects as overlining, a speed-enhancing practice that involves directing eyes above words, and subvocalization, the concept of hearing written text mentally, which can impede one’s reading pace. The informative seminar also discloses methods that, like meditating while chanting every name from grandma’s high-school yearbook, can increase concentration and long-term memory skills up to 95%.
All attendees receive an instructional manual and the institute’s own RasterMaster laser pen, a tool designed to expand peripheral vision and bolster at-home speed-reading practice. Geared toward high-school students to help prepare them for standardized tests and college-placement exams, this course also assists students in improving scores on graduate-level exams such as the LSAT or GRE.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Airport Security
The airport's TSA (Toned Squad of Angels) agents act as gatekeepers to the skies. Here's what you'll need to know to pass through TSA territory:
• You will be asked to take off your shoes upon approaching the security checkpoint. Shuffling through security with only a thin layer of sock between you and the floor reminds you that you're still an earthbound human even though you're about to soar through the sky like a big ol' bird.
• Passengers will be asked to pass through a full-body scanner, which uses x-ray technology to search for weapons, incriminating thigh tattoos, and gross ulcers. People who do not want a stranger to look at their underclothing areas can opt out of the scan, but they must go on a romantic yacht date with a TSA agent before being allowed to pass through security.
• Liquids in tubes, bottles, or sealed jars are unacceptable because they can't be properly sniffed or spread onto bread for identification purposes. Pour your liquids into plastic grocery bags so that agents can at least run their hands through them.
• Place your laptop computer in its own bin before passing through security. Computers must be examined separately so that agents can edit your screenplay in private.
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