Homeowners can reduce energy costs in many ways, from insulating attics to replacing family members with ultra-efficient animatronic family members. Replicate time-tested energy-saving techniques with today's Groupon: for $149, you get a complete home energy-use audit from Spirit Technologies (a $300 value).
Spirit Technologies sends certified auditors into homes to catch wasted energy in the act of sneaking away. People residing within 25 miles of downtown St. Louis and in homes of up to 3,000 square feet can invite a highly-trained technician to thoroughly examine their domicile’s structures and systems, from how well the walls are insulated and the roof is sheathed to how much static electricity one can generate on the welcome mats. The auditor will also consult the family within about their utility costs, energy-use habits, and the history of their home and answer any questions they may have. Post-audit, homeowners will receive a detailed report of 20 or more pages analyzing their energy use, which they can consult to plan money-saving upgrades or bind as a keepsake of a time before humanity learned to harvest all its energy from obscene YouTube comments.