Vegetables are the antizombie, rising out of the ground to demand we devour their artichoke hearts and cauliflower brains. Hunt down some new green friends with today's Groupon to Sugar Plum Vegan Cafe. Choose between the following options:
- For $10, you get a 6-inch vegan cake (a $20 value).
- For $11, you get a lunch or dinner for two (up to a $22 total value), which includes:
- Two salads or sandwiches (up to a $9 value each)
- Two iced teas of the day (up to a $2 value each)
Cooks at the Sugar Plum Vegan Cafe peruse local farm selections to pack their menu with plant-based treats made from organic ingredients. Each of their vegan cakes crams sweet flavors into very-vanilla confections, double-chocolate loaves, or gluten-free carrot cakes for non-cannibalistic scarecrows. Diners trying to avoid meat during lunch or dinner sup on salads such as the california chop of seasonal veggies, avocado, tempeh bacon, and pumpkin seeds swimming in balsamic vinaigrette. The incredible midtown club transforms from a milquetoast stack of bread slices to a hulking meal when topped with tempeh bacon and avocado or made angry. Fingers work out while clamping down halves of ciabatta bread sandwiching the garnet yam and avocado panini painted with poppy seed aioli. Special selections spring forth daily from the chefs' imaginations and several soy- and gluten-free options are available to comply with allergies or raw-food diets.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Boxes of Chocolates
Unfortunately, the government will never force big candy corporations to label their boxed chocolates, as this would leave them with nowhere to hide the country's disgusting deposits of cherry cordials. To help, here's a guide to knowing which chocolates are safe to eat:
Round: Eat. This will be filled with delicious coconut, the only nut with no calories and no anger that you are eating it, willingly sacrificing its life to sustain your own. Are you happy now?
Square: Do not eat. Chocolate does not naturally have corners. If it does, there's no explanation and it's uncomfortable to even think about.
Oval: Bite into this one carefully. If it's nougat—swallow. If it's not nougat, it's bird food—leave it for your spouse or children to eat. Especially if either happen to be a bird.
Lumpy: Enclose this in your hand until it melts. All of the polished rocks and metal treasures that were lurking below its surface will suddenly be revealed.
Rectangle: Eat. This one must be caramel. It just has to be.
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