Sometimes the stresses of modern living are just too much and a person needs to shout their lungs out. Unfortunately, this could lead to unwanted attention and expensive lung-reinsertion surgery.

Local governments and flash-mob organizers agree that the primary danger behind shouting in public is the potential for causing a panic. General screaming tends to alarm passersby, who will often phone the police under the assumption that you need to be rescued from an unmanned bear trap or an untrapped man-bear.

However, some inconspicuous phrases can be safely shouted at any volume, allowing you to exert decades of bottled-up frustration in plain sight (and plain earshot). Enjoy any of the following tested and approved outbursts:

• “Everything’s fine!”
  
• “Happy birthday!”
  
• “That firework was the best one yet!”
  

Enjoy, and shout safely—every time.