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The Institute of Multidimensional Medicine – Foggy Bottom

One or Two Colon-Hydrotherapy Sessions (Up to 72% Off)

from$69
Buy
No Longer Available
Sat Dec 08 04:59:59 UTC 2012
Value
$250
Discount
72%
You Save
$181
  • T460x279

In a Nutshell

Warm, gravity-pumped water gently cleanses colons

The Fine Print

  • Expires 180 days after purchase.
  • Limit 1 per person, may buy 1 additional as a gift. Limit 1 per visit. Valid only for option purchased. Appointment required; subject to availability. 24-hr cancellation notice required or fee up to price of Groupon may apply. New clients only. Must sign waiver. May redeem across visits.
  • See the rules that apply to all deals.

People are more confident if they feel clean inside and out, which is why successful people all start their days with a hot shower and a thorough exorcism. Feel your best with this Groupon.

Choose from Two Options

$69 for a medical consultation and one colon-hydrotherapy session (a $250 value)
$119 for a medical consultation and two colon-hydrotherapy sessions (a $400 value)

After an initial consultation, the Angel of Water colon-hydrotherapy system gently cleanses guests’ insides as they recline on an ergonomic bed. A smooth stream of gravity-pumped water, warmed to a comfortable 100 degrees, activates a gentle undulation of the large intestine, which clears out compacted waste during each 40-minute session.

The Institute of Multidimensional Medicine

Every facet of The Institute of Multidimensional Medicine is designed to relax and heal—right down to the reception area. There, fresh flowers poke up behind the long curve of a wooden desk while a translucent screen diffuses light across the waiting area’s mix of modern and antique furnishings. Past the desk, down a cream-colored hall, visitors meet with Dr. Sakiliba Mines—the founder and resident physician—as she listens to each concern and walks her charges through the holistic and integrative options open to them. Among the Institute's services, guests can avail themselves of energy-balancing acupuncture, lymph-draining massage, and detoxifying footbaths. An onsite aesthetics center, meanwhile, tends to exteriors with skin-nourishing wraps and aestheticians trained to detect whether clients have been sleeping in a jerky dehydrator.

Groupon Says

Dem_teaser_cat

The Groupon Guide to: Escaping a Glass Prison Cell

With new weird laws constantly being passed, there's a good chance you'll probably be convicted of an obscure crime and sentenced to imprisonment in a large glass holding cell. Here's how you can get out:

  • Glass will melt at a certain temperature, but why bother going through all that trouble when you can just break it by throwing yourself against one of the walls?

  • Look around for structural weaknesses. If you can't find any, you're not looking hard enough because that holding cell is composed of large pieces of easily breakable glass.

  • Turn around and pick up that 40-pound sledgehammer that's been sitting in the corner this entire time. When your adrenaline starts pumping from lifting that heavy sledgehammer, put it back down and use that adrenaline surge to propel your body straight through the glass.

  • In movies, people are always shattering nearby drinking glasses and windows by singing in an unbearably high pitch. Do the same thing, but instead of singing, just use any solid part of your body to smash that glass!

When is your town getting a glass prison?

The Institute of Multidimensional Medicine

  • A

    Foggy Bottom

    2311 M Street NW Suite 301
    Washington, D.C. 20037
    (202) 429-3783
    Get Directions