Of all the things available for subscription, newspapers have remained the favorite ever since the postmaster general banned beehive-of-the-month clubs. Keep abreast of the latest buzz with today's Groupon: for $15, you get a six-month Sunday and Wednesday home-delivery subscription from The Virginian-Pilot (a $52 value).
The Virginian-Pilot's staff of dedicated journalists has dutifully provided news and information to the citizens of southeast Virginia and North Carolina for 146 years and helped the paper to earn a Pulitzer Prize. Every Sunday and Wednesday morning, customers can wake up to the invigorating aroma of fresh ink without allowing poets to nest in the crawlspace. As they butter their toast and brace themselves for the daily grind, readers explore paper sections detailing local news, sports, restaurants, and entertainment. On Sundays, The Pilot includes in-depth stories relevant to Hampton Roads, while Wednesday editions contain recipes and food reviews.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Mind vs. Body
Dualists such as René Descartes know that the mind and the body are separate entities. Here's a guide to determining which of these feuding halves you should turn to in a crisis:
The Situation: You need to cram all night for an important endocrinology exam.
Use Your Mind or Your Body? Your body. Spend the night tattooing the endocrine system's relevant diseases and secretions onto your upper torso, but leave enough room to tattoo the Constitution in case you decide to become a Supreme Court justice instead.
The Situation: One of Robert Frost's notebooks is trapped under a burning Chrysler LeBaron.
Use Your Mind or Your Body? Your mind. Refusing to lift the car off the notebook yourself will show the impotence of poetry.
The Situation: A bully kicks sand in your face.
Use Your Mind or Your Body? Neither. Instead of using your body to fight back or your mind to conjure up a clever retort, harness your sense of shame to detach your body's molecules from each other and dissipate into the ether.
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