According to Newton's Fourth Law, the more you drive your car, the more debris it attracts—repelling aerodynamics, the opposite gender, and gravity itself. Smooth your auto-armor with today's Groupon: for $12, you get $30 worth of services at Turbo Express Car Wash & Detail. Turbo Express Car Wash & Detail is open seven days a week for roadster rinsing and revitalizing. This Groupon's value can be used over multiple visits.
Turbo Express Car Wash & Detail offers motorists a slate of services aimed at upping cars' naturally low self-esteems. Treat your walrus-less carriage to a Turbo Express wash ($8) with turbo triple-action foam, spot-free rinse, turbo dry, and touch towel finish. The Turbo Classic wash ($10) provides all of the auto-friendly amenities of the Turbo Express wash plus undercarriage sealant, turbo tri-coat polish, and a wheel/tire cleaning. Or you could go all crazy with the Turbo Custom wash ($12), which heaps all the aforementioned services into a scrub-down, while also throwing in UV protection and a tire shine. Delivery drivers seeking to eradicate the ruinous remnants of last week's unfortunate chili spillage can opt for a Redline Interior Detail ($39.95), where, in addition to receiving a Turbo Custom wash, the car's interiors are vacuumed, mats are shampooed, glass is cleaned, upholstery is treated, and an enticing fragrance, like the sweet sigh of a southern grey-headed sparrow, is hatched.
Turbo Express Car Wash & Detail understands that time is not a limitless commodity, since Inception-theory sharing and shadow-puppet crafting take up so many hours of the day. As such, it lives up to the speedy promise of its name, with car washes taking no more than 10 minutes and additional detailing services taking just 15 minutes more. Turbo Express Car Wash & Detail also uses environmentally friendly chemicals to keep Mother Nature's well-documented wrath in check. Get your Groupon and tell your space-age stagecoach to hit the showers.