Like the three branches of the government, bodies, minds, and souls often find themselves in contentious disagreements over how much wine is too much wine in a voting booth. Reconcile triune tribunals with today’s Groupon: for $99, you get a 15-minute food-allergy test and consultation at Unilab Express (up to a $249 value). This deal is valid at the North Miami Beach, Fort Lauderdale, Downtown Miami, and Hialeah locations.
The certified clinical laboratories in the Unilab Express network employ sophisticated testing technologies to quickly pinpoint and expose immune-system reactions to everyday substances. During the quick, 15-minute visit, a qualified technician draws a blood sample and monitors any abnormal reactions the sample may have to more than 100 allergens in 46 common food groups, including animals, vegetables, play-doh, and minerals. Medical professionals at each location can provide assistance in interpreting the test’s results, which are completely confidential, ensuring each patient's data remains between them, their physicians, and the lab. Like a lunch date with the president, tests do not require a formal appointment, though patients should call ahead before their visit.
THE PATIENT AND ANY OTHER PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR PAYMENT HAS A RIGHT TO REFUSE TO PAY, CANCEL PAYMENT, OR BE REIMBURSED FOR PAYMENT FOR ANY OTHER SERVICE, EXAMINATION, OR TREATMENT THAT IS PERFORMED AS A RESULT OF AND WITHIN 72 HOURS OF RESPONDING TO THE ADVERTISEMENT FOR THE FREE, DISCOUNTED FEE, OR REDUCED FEE SERVICE, EXAMINATION, OR TREATMENT.
The board-certified doctors, dieticians, and medical assistants at Last12Pounds shoo away stubborn weight with a signature regimen of tests, diet plans, and injections. After preliminary blood tests and physician consultations scrutinize patients’ health and saucy-merengue heartbeats, dieticians craft customized exercise and meal plans based upon individual tastes and nutritional needs. B12-vitamin elixirs aim to infuse dieters with extra energy, and doses of the hormone HCG boast an ability to make the hypothalamus burn stored fat and spur the metabolism. A final assessment and weigh-in rounds out each treatment to let patients admire their progress.