Until the personal watercraft was invented, mankind's only hope for summer fun involved hitting candied hams with tree branches. Celebrate watery invention with today's Groupon to Vancouver Water Adventures. Choose between the following options:
- For $133, you get a tandem Jet Ski tour (a $266.56 value, including HST).
- For $139, you get a tandem Jet Ski rental (a $277.76 value, including HST).
Vancouver Water Adventures launches guests on Jet Ski and Sea-Doo tours of Vancouver Harbour, Howe Sound, Bowen Island, and Vancouver's other surrounding aquatic areas; all tours launch from 1812 Boatlift Lane in Granville Island. During the two-hour wild tour, a nautical navigator educates customers on the scenery and wildlife of Vancouver's local waters from atop a Jet Ski ($119 per person, plus tax). Expert guides lead pairs to the Pacific Ocean for stunning views of the shoreline and potential small talk with local whale pods. Tours equip riders with a snack and drink, fuel, a wetsuit, a life jacket, and a one-day boater's licence issued to the driver. More experienced riders ready to tickle Poseidon on their own may instead rent ruddered steeds for a two-hour free-roaming excursion.
For tour option, a $25 damage insurance fee or major credit card is required; for rental option, a major credit card is required for deposit.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Personal Identity
A person's identity can grow and change throughout their lifetime, like a caterpillar metamorphosing into a bumblebee. Here's a look at some possible identities at different life stages:
Toddlers: Once toddlers pass through the Terrible Twos, so called because they will do everything terrible (temper tantrums, perjury) two times, they can pass into their Thrilling Threes or directly into the Foreboding Fours, during which they will be besieged by haunting, unending visions of their future mediocrity.
Teens: Though some teens will have settled into a clear identity, such as "slacker," "junior scientist," or "sports Midas," others remain confused about their career path until the end of high school. This is why guidance counsellors prepare students for the only two jobs available in the future: superyacht salesman and vagabond.
Adults: Grown-ups can easily alter their identities by petitioning to change their names. Popular adult names include Race McWinner, Sir Handsome, Dr. Attractive Woman, and Mom. Be sure to settle on an identity by age 50, when your finished tombstone, including name, epitaph, and applicable birth and death dates, will be mailed to your home by the federal government.
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