Customizing your own property is a time-consuming process that often yields illegible monograms and valuable works of art with your dental records stapled to them. Attach a sensible, personal touch with this Groupon.
$17 for $70 Worth of Any Custom-Printing Service or Product from Vistaprint
In a Nutshell
Web-based design tools let users customize cards, calendars, mugs, and T-shirts with personalized text and images
The Fine Print
Expires Jun 5th, 2013. Limit 1 per person, may buy 1 additional as a gift. Limit 1 per order. Online only. Cannot be combined with other offers or partner programs. Must redeem online at www.vistaprint.com/groupon17. Must use promotional value in 1 visit. Valid for all Vistaprint items. Shipping and sales tax not included. Merchant is solely responsible to purchasers for the care and quality of the advertised goods and services. See the rules that apply to all deals.
In and Around North Port
The Groupon Guide to: Speed-Reading
Reading is so boring that if you don't do it fast, you're at risk of falling asleep and hitting your head on a book. Diminish your reading time to mere seconds a day with these speed-reading tips:
Practice moving your eyes really fast by quickly looking back and forth at a set of twins until they start to look like one person.
Most written text is full of extra words that the author put in to sound smart and pay homage to that old hag Mother Grammar. Skip the fluff by only reading words that are men's names, parts of a horse, in a crazy font, or "Las Vegas."
Do not ever read anything inside of parentheses. Parentheses are the garbage can of the page where the author puts his least important or most disgusting thoughts.
Use the shape of a paragraph to guide you. Big and blocky? No use in reading what's probably just boring backstory. Thin and slim? You've found that sweet, scintillating mistress we call dialogue—read away.