Appalachian Dracula was famously quoted as saying, "I never drink … moonshine." Teach the original Dracula a thing or two with today's Groupon: for $25, you get $75 worth of fine wine mailed directly to your door from Wine Insiders. Shipping is just one penny if you order a full case. This Groupon is not valid for club memberships and cannot be shipped to certain states; view the list of valid states here.
Wine Insiders sprang fully formed from the head of founder John Davis 25 years ago, when he used his octopus-like industry connections to assemble a panel of wine experts for the sole purpose of seeking out the best and most affordable wines for his customers. On average, this league of extraordinary oenophiles approves only one out of every 100 bottles sampled, ensuring that only the most delicious wines stain their customers' lips a rich purple. They're fairly confident in their taste, too: if you're not 100% delighted by the vinos they've selected, they'll refund the full cost of the order, no questions asked—not even "So, you doing anything fun this weekend?"
Despite its staff's legendary pickiness, Wine Insiders stocks a variety of red and white wines, including pinot noirs, pinot grigios, rieslings, and cabernet sauvignons, with informative descriptions of each. Sippers can tipple 2010 Tied Knot Riesling, which holds a delicate balance of meyer lemon and peach ($14.99), or swish Stone Briar Classic Red ($9.99), whose fruity aromas play well with steak and lamb. For a more targeted crash course in Bacchic beverages, patrons can sample a dozen themed bottles in a wine assortment ($119.88+) such as California Whites, Cab Crazy, and the anybody's-guess Mystery. All assortments can include wines that retail for more than $20 a bottle and will ship for one shiny penny.
Ordering wine online straight from Wine Insiders' experts spares customers the hassle of scavenging through a confusing network of specialty shops and cavernous mega-marts or of building an enormous steel drilling rig in a misguided effort to draw wine from the bowels of the earth. Pay a visit to the Wine Insiders website and rustle up a panoply of grape-based potions with today's Groupon.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Being a Good Friend
Though many of life's accomplishments are important—working as a reading tutor, not setting fire to every mailbox you happen to pass—only one accomplishment matters in the long run: being a good friend. Follow these friendship tips to separating besties from the resties:
• Every time you're drinking something, offer your friend a sip from your glass. If they decline, show them there's nothing to worry about by sterilizing your own mouth with a crème brûlée torch.
• Pick up the check whenever possible—but don’t stop there. Use your intimate knowledge of your friend to glean possible passwords to their online bank accounts and transfer their funds into a high-yield CD just in case they want to save up to go to college again.
• What's your friend's favorite animal? Do they own one yet? Could you conceivably get them one? Keep in mind that the word "impossible" was most likely invented by a bad friend.
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