During the space race, American astronauts trained in amusement parks, braving the Tilt-a-Whirl and spinning teacups. Today's Groupon gives you the chance to prepare for space adventures. For $14, you get a ride on one of five thrilling thrill rides from Zero Gravity Thrill Amusement Park (a $31.39 value including tax). With this deal, you can choose one of five aerial journeys:
- Bungee Jump teaches you what it might be like to be born from an airborne pterodactyl. You'll be secured to a super-elastic bungee cord with nylon backup safety straps and stoked via multiple high-fives into pitching yourself off a seven-story tower looming above a professional stuntman airbag.
- The Skyspcraper shows you why your geometry teacher was so excited about circles as up to four riders—two on each end of a 165-foot propeller arm—are propelled through the air at a breath-stealing 60 mph.
- Texas Blastoff offers the opportunity to awestrike yourself with the majestic flatness of North Texas as you shoot 150 feet in the air at 70 mph, while restrained by a safety cradle.
- Skycoaster straps you and two friends, or maybe one date and one awkward third wheel into a 110-foot-high hang-gliding simulator. It's the thrill of flying without the hassle of actually going somewhere.
- Nothin' But Net indisputably proves gravity's existence. It's just you, constant gravitational acceleration, and two silky-soft safety nets. Around 16 stories of unrestrained freefall end against nature's intentions with a gentle, almost imperceptible landing.
For more than 17 years, Zero Gravity has continuously developed new and better ways to hurl Texans and European businessmen through Dallas's green sky. It's a great workout for your screaming muscles and a wonderful way to finally understand what existential philosopher Martin Heidegger meant by "physics." Take your date and bond through the illusion of narrowly escaped death, or take just yourself and prepare for a job interview to be a stuntman in a Ken Burns documentary.
All of Zero Gravity's rides come with a few restrictions: don't come pregnant, broken boned, if you have a heart condition, or with a duffle bag filled with puppies. Specific restrictions vary from ride to ride. In every case, you must be at least 42 inches or more to ride. If you can't choose just one ride, buy multiples for a cornucopia of thrillcitement.
Reviews
The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders visited Zero Gravity on their CMT show. Insider Pagers give Zero Gravity five stars on average, Citysearchers rate it a perfect five stars on average, and TripAdvisors award the amusement park five owl eyes on average:
- Great staff, heart-stopping rides and tons of laughs! I never questioned the safety of the rides or operators. An added bonus are the videos they take so you can see yourself and friends screaming and laughing. – GottaRun, TripAdvisor
- It is a great place to take a date and have a good time. You will walk away being able to say you have tried things that most people wouldnt' [sic] even dare! – amberCorn, TripAdvisor
- It's a great way to go out and have fun with family and friends…Having a variety of rides is also amazing and all of them guarantee safety and talk about that adrenaline rush. – zamo, Citysearch
Groupon Says
We Are Not Amused
A trip to Zero Gravity is an exhilarating outing that will get your blood pumping, your heart racing, and your brain wishing it had paid better attention in fun-having class. It's definitely more fun than the nearby Grand Amusements Family Activities Park, the local second-rate amusement park that boasts "real geese" and a swimming pool "large enough for several." We're so sick to death of its radio ads that we were able to fully memorize one:
- Hey, kids of families! (sound of water splashing) Do you like adventure in excitement? (sound of a baby goat coughing) Then this is the place to be you! At Grand Amusements Family Activities Park, we put the "fun" in "fun to go to"! Buckle your seatbelts for the exhilarating Hall of Seatbelts! Or try our funny hat-and-mirror station on for size! You'll flip your top! (cartoon sound effect, vaguely slide-whistlesque) And, newly reopened by permission of the Office of the Lieutenant Governor, hold your breath for the Aquaticator, the world's only and largest underwater rollercoaster! So wake up mom and dad and cry until they take you to Grand Amusements Family Activities Park, off route 406 by the abandoned armory. Tell them "Mike the Mascot" sent you!
Comment on our feelings board
