Cowboys invented the handlebar mustache so they'd always have somewhere to hang their hat. Save yourself the grooming time and hang your Stetson at a stately hotel instead: for $89, you get a one-night stay in a standard king or double room (up to a $199 value) at Crowne Plaza Hollywood Beach Florida Hotel on South Ocean Drive. Today's deal expires on December 23, 2010, so be sure to use it while it's still in-season.
Each of Crowne Plaza's 311 chic, spacious guestrooms sports a scenic balcony view, either of the great Atlantic pond or the intracoastal waterways. This hotel is impeccably plotted; well-planned access is available to ten nearby golf courses, upscale shopping at the Aventura Mall, athletic feats at Sun Life Stadium, and lots of fun beachfront activities. Crowne Plaza opened just over three years ago, so it also boasts top-of-the-line amenities, modern design, and the calm, relaxed demeanor of a child who's just emerged, wiser and calmer, from the troublesome twos.
Start your day with a cup of Starbucks bean juice from the on-site café, Cool Beans Coffee, or generate caffeine-free energy in the fully equipped fitness center, heated outdoor pool, or by plugging your fingernails into an outlet in the 24-hour business center. Crowne Plaza's outdoor pool is one of the area's largest infinity edge pools, featuring a tapered outline that lets swimmers feel as though they are out in the ocean without the risk of having their goggles stolen by a shark. Standard Guest rooms at Crowne Plaza are dressed in luxurious linens with fluffy down and foam pillows, 25" flat panel TVs with premium cable, free high speed internet, microwaves, mini fridges, coffeemakers, and more.
Reviews
Crowne Plaza Hollywood Beach is recommended by 75% of TripAdvisors who give it an average of 3.5 owl eyes. MyTravelGuide.com reviewers give it an 8.5 average rating out of 10:
- Beautiful clean hotel. Great friendly staff. Everyone waorking [sic] there always had a smile on their face. Wonderful friendly bartender named 'Nacho" worked the poolside tiki bar. Quite [sic], soundproof rooms made for a restful night. – RhodeIslandBound, TripAdvisor
- “Loved the hotel, definitely will stay there again. Great rooms, spacious, nice mini-kitchen, and spacious bath. – Carmen, MyTravelGuide.com
Groupon Says
Insensitive Millionaire Jokes
The amenities offered by hotels can make regular folks feel like millionaires, but remember–millionaires were once regular folks too. During your hotel stay, avoid the temptation to tell any of these culturally insensitive jokes about that most maligned of American cultures: millionaires.
Q: What did one millionaire say to the other millionaire? A: This is an official certified communique requesting that you please stop concluding your rooftop Segway races by crash-landing in my Olympic-sized swimming pool.
Q: Why did the millionaire throw the clock out the window? A: He was upset about the leisurely pace at which his topiary sculptor was crafting his 18-foot-high hedge bust.
Q: How many millionaires does it take to change a light bulb? A: A millionaire does not need light bulbs, for the sun never sets on his pharmaceutical empire. Just kidding, he lives in a large beautiful house and does indeed go through many light bulbs. He has a man, with his own ladder, who changes them for him. Due to the rigorous light-bulb-changing schedule, the man has not seen his wife in 11 days. The millionaire does not know the man’s name, but, from his sobbing, he has inferred that his wife’s name is Mary. The whole situation is quite unbecoming. The millionaire closes the door to his study, closes out the sobbing, and sits by the fire, polishing his collection of monocles in silence. “Surely,” thinks the millionaire, “the world must be, somehow, fair.”
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