The deal is on!
Appalachian Dracula was famously quoted as saying, "I never drink…moonshine." Teach the original Dracula a thing or two with today's deal: for $25, you get $75 worth of fine wine mailed directly to your door from Wine Insiders. Shipping is free if you order a full case. Otherwise, you may apply part of the value of this Groupon to pay for shipping, as well as sales tax. This Groupon is not valid for club memberships.
Wine Insiders sprang fully formed from the head of founder John Davis 25 years ago, when he used his octopus-like industry connections to assemble a panel of wine experts for the sole purpose of seeking out the best and most affordable wines for his customers. On average, this league of extraordinary oenophiles approves only one out of every 100 bottles sampled, ensuring that only the most delicious wines stain their customers' lips a rich purple. They're fairly confident in their taste, too: if you're not 100% delighted by the vinos they've selected, they'll refund the full cost of the order, no questions asked—not even "So, you doing anything fun this weekend?"
Despite its legendary pickiness, Wine Insiders offers a huge variety of red and white wines, helpfully broken down into syrahs, pinot grigios, Rieslings, cabernet sauvignons, and more with informative descriptions of each. A Monarch Glen merlot ($9.99)—an aroma-rich varietal with notes of cherry and plum—is a good place to start, as is a 2008 Glass Ridge chardonnay, which has a rich baked apple pie and cinnamon flavor ($9.99). For a more targeted crash course in Bacchic beverages, try a wine assortment such as Big Bold Reds, Summer Whites, John's Favorites, and the anybody's-guess Mystery. All wine assortments come by the dozen and start at $119.83; each is carefully selected and can include wines that retail for more than $20 a bottle. Shipping is free with these boxed collections.
Ordering wine online straight from Wine Insiders' experts spares customers the hassle of scavenging through a confusing network of specialty shops and cavernous mega-marts or of building an enormous steel drilling rig in a misguided effort to draw wine from the bowels of the earth. Pay a visit to the Wine Insiders website and rustle up a panoply of grape-based potions with today's Groupon.
An adult 21 or over must be present to receive any wine shipments; first-time customers only. Available for redemption starting September 4.
Reviews
Spirit of Wine had this to say:
- All in all, what I found were decent quality wines at an incredibly attractive price point… – jorray, Spirit of Wine
Groupon Says
Inside Wine
Wine insiders are able to tell what is inside wine, often just by drinking several bottles of it in a gazebo. This is very much the case with our uncle, who impresses us with his ability to glean more and more subtle wine "notes" with each successive bottle he drinks. Here's an example of his remarkable skill at work:
After one bottle: I detect notes of chocolate, cherry, and…could that be pine? Fascinating choice.
After three bottles: I detect…everybody, come here. Come here, I'm doing it. Okay. Okay, is that everybody? I detect a mild hint of vanilla that might imply the wine was aged in an oak barrel. I also detect a mild hint of a suitcase missing that might imply my wife thinks she's (hic) too good for a humble wine…a wine guy. Is she right? Hey, I'm asking you!
After five bottles: (note: this critique comes in the form of playing the piano until it becomes time to rest his head upon it, deep in thought)
After eight bottles: I detect…the government, man…they just…they want us like this, all fighting…I detect there's tiny radios in the wine—promise me you won't drink the wine! (This session usually concludes with a much-deserved power nap taken eccentrically on the floor).
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