Far from havens for novice skiers, the first bunny slopes were teeming with malevolent rabbits who tripped up passing skiers with misplaced boulders and bad financial advice. Glide peaceably downhill with today's Groupon: for $55, you get two adult all-day lift tickets and $20 worth of lodge cuisine (up to a $132 value) at Crystal Mountain Resort and Spa in Thompsonville.
Named the No. 1 Resort in the Midwest by SKI magazine in 2005, Crystal Mountain Resort has opened up its powdery veins to slope-seekers for nearly 50 years. Skiers and snowboarders alike can flash their open-to-close lift tickets for access to nine lifts, 45 downhill runs for all skill levels, various terrain and super-cross parks, and a half-pipe. More than half of the downhill runs become illuminated for night skiing and snowy séances. Two $10 cuisine vouchers can be used to fill bellies at any of Crystal's dining establishments, including the elegant, Celtic-inspired Thistle Pub & Grille, the family-friendly Wild Tomato Restaurant & Bar, and more. Arrive with your heirloom snow-gliders in tow or take advantage of Crystal Mountain's on-site rentals.
Reviews
TripAdvisors give Crystal Mountain Resort and Spa an average rating of five owl eyes, and eight Yelpers give it an average rating of 4.5 stars. Eight Yahoo! Locals give it an average rating of four stars:
- We had an amazing stay. – lovwdw, TripAdvisor
- Great summer fun. – Edward W., Yelp
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Insulting Jokes
Love 'em, hate 'em, hove 'em, or late 'em, "your mother" jokes are the world's oldest profession. Here are some of the Jokes of the Year from The Encyclopedia of Jocular Insults to One's Female Progenitor:
1776: Thine English tyrant of a mater is so undesirable that were her moniker "Liberty," the honorable Mr. Henry would have simply intoned, "Give me death!" in his famous outburst!
1812: Your family's matriarch is in such desperate need of a scrubbing that Carolus Linnaeus classified her as "inordinately dirty."
1861: I do declare that y'all's mother occupies such a voluminous area that she has a foot alighted on each side of the now-infamous Mason-Dixon line.
1922: Hey palooka, your lady-dad is so crass, that she brushes her chompers with a stogie! Zip Zap Zup!
1955: Your mother is so rude that she didn't even learn anything from Gary the Traveling Manners Man.
2057: 母亲是非 生产性
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