Bewildered mechanics souped up the earliest horseless carriages by filling them with premium oats and lovingly grooming their spoilers. Spur your steed toward the horizon with today's Groupon: for $20, you get an oil change (a $29.95 value) and tire rotation (a $14 value) at GB Auto Center (a $43.95 total value).
GB Auto Center's Automotive Service Excellence–certified technicians keep automobiles running and rolling smoothly by swiftly replacing oil and rotating tires. Once a lift bay carefully hoists vehicles into the air, mechanics sap engines of their used syrup and refill them with up to five quarts of standard motor oil, allowing patrons to enjoy an improved ride without letting a fairy godmother pick the radio station. The included tire rotation swaps around the placement of cars' feet so treads can evenly share the brunt of wear-and-tear. Automobiles equipped with tire-pressure monitoring systems or triangular wheels are subject to additional tire-rotating fees. Technicians also run through a car-safety check during the 20-minute service and examine components for potential issues. Inside GB Auto Center's waiting area, drivers relax in chairs in front of a flat-screen TV as staffers pamper steely steeds.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: the Bee Family
Bees, like all animals, can be divided into three basic categories:
Bees: Your basic model. Bees are coated in a fuzzy layer of fuzz that allows them to accumulate pollen, or, if available, chocolate-milk powder, to bring back to their hive and convert into honey. If a bee stings you, it will die shortly after, but it will attempt to live long enough to divide its estate among its fellow drones in a heated court battle.
Wasps: Also known as yellow jackets, stripy devils, or sky ants, wasps are distinguished by their multiple pairs of wings and lack of fuzz and manners. Only female wasps bear stingers, which they are capable of using multiple times—a topic that constitutes the majority of wasp standup comedy.
Hornets: Gross! These buzzing bombardiers are a small subset of the wasp family, distinguished by their plumper thorax and aggressive attitude. If you see a hornet, be wary—there are likely others nearby. If you see a hornet inside your home, prepare yourself emotionally to burn your home to the ground—it belongs to the hornets now.
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