Statistically, home is the place you're most likely to fall asleep under a running lawn mower or spontaneously combust while trying to slow dance with a running lawn mower. Find a safe haven with today's Groupon: for $120, you get a one-night stay in a three-bedroom condo at Rivers Edge Condos in Algoma (a $240 value). Today's deal is valid through September 30, 2011.
Rivers Edge Condos dazzles guests with luxury accommodations perched on the bank of the Ahnapee River and within walking distance of Lake Michigan, sparing them traffic-borne tension by residing just minutes from Door County. Relaxed visitors can stroll along the lake shore before retiring to a fully furnished three-bedroom, two- to three-bath condo replete with air-conditioning to cool weary brows, a wet bar to quench parched mouths, and cable TV to refresh eyeballs with images of pretty starlets. Anglers can rent fishing poles and fillet freshly caught trout in their vacation-abode's kitchen before laying tender morsels on the outdoor gas grill. Guests can also rent bicycles to explore downtown Algoma and wash their fresh-air-stained clothing in the unit's washer and dryer at the end of the day.
In addition to an overnight stay, today's deal entitles fishing-inclined customers to $50 off a six-hour chartered fishing trip ($575–$600) or $100 off an eight-hour trip ($700–$725) from RV Charters. Armed with rods and tackle, passengers stand by eagerly as captains chase down Lake Michigan's stock of king salmon and trout before settling in for a day of challenging fishy fights and tearful tales about the ones that got away.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Dog Translation
Unlike most animals, which will bite, quill-sting, or bray with disappointment at every person they see, dogs love humans, but their unsophisticated vocal cords make it hard to communicate with us. Here's a guide to what your canine companion's yelps are really saying:
- Bark!: "I love you! Please sloppily eat a chili dog and let me lick the detritus off your beard!"
- Ruff!: "Who am I? What is our relationship? I'm uncomfortable with you 'owning' me!"
- Woof!: "Do you think we'd be friends if I were a human? I bet we would still hang out. Is anyone working on that technology? On dog brain/human body transfer? If you paid for the human-making surgery up front, I'd totally get a job and pay you back. I want this to be a relationship of equals!"
- Bow-wow!: "OK, not a lot of interest in the humanity surgery. I get it. I won't bring it up again."
- Arf!: "Just think about it a little, though! Me! With a human body and a dog's face! I don't understand why you aren't more into this idea!"
- Yip!: "Everyone would ask, 'Who's this cool dude?' And I'd be like, 'I used to be this guy's dog, believe it or not!' I am definitely getting excited about this."
- Aw-oooh!: "I'd still be the same 'best friend' you've always had, but I'd also be a dog's head transplanted onto a human body. Which part are you not understanding?"
- Meow!: "Would you love me more if I were a cat? Would you?!"
- (Sigh) Bark…: "Whatever, man. I guess it's a dog's head and a dog's body for me. But I'm not happy about it."
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