Give a man a fish, and he'll be fed; tell a man to get his own, and he'll loot mounted bass from a taxidermy shop. Lure legal alternatives with today's Groupon: for $175, you get a six-hour walleye fishing trip for up to four people (a $350 value) from Why Knot Guide Service in Luxemburg.
The Why Knot Guide Service takes adroit mariners to the Bay of Green Bay for a walleye catch as easy as tickling them in a barrel. During the spring, summer, and fall, droves of walleye flock to the bay for feasting and dating games, making it virtually assured that something will bite the bait. Trips depart from the Bay Shore Park for either Green Bay or Sturgeon Bay in Door County. The new 25-foot Tiara Pursuit, one of the bay's largest walleye boats, comes equipped with a captain boasting more than a decade of guiding experience, as well as an onboard bathroom and a roof overhead for adverse weather or hiding from predatory pelicans.
The limit for walleye in April is one over 28 inches, and the limit for walleye after May 2 is five over 15 inches. Bring along a valid fishing license (though none is required June 4 and 5) and snacks, as well as UV defense and a camera to document the walleye and the treasure chests fishermen pull from the bay.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Meteorology
One of the most confusing of the "ologies," meteorology is actually the study of weather, just as weatherology is the study of meteorology. Here are a few ways you can predict the weather yourself, so you never have to watch the news or talk to anyone else ever again:
- Hold a dampened finger up in the wind. Depending on which side of your finger gets cold first, you may be inside of a tornado.
- If you don't like the weather in your city, wait five minutes. If your uncontrollable rage has not subsided after five minutes, move to a different city.
- If your grandfather's old knee injury starts acting up, it means a storm is coming—a metaphorical storm symbolizing the inescapable perils of old age.
- Remember, a sun wearing sunglasses means a heat wave is underway, just as raisins wearing sunglasses indicate an approaching "cool" front, and a sun wearing sunglasses holding two scoops of raisins means a 90% chance of a complete breakfast.
- You can tell how far away the center of a storm is by counting the seconds between lightning and thunder then multiplying that number by the amount of time you've wasted listening to the sky.
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