Groupon Says
Beyond "Wash Me"
If some young rapscallion in possession of a finger violated your precious windshield grime by tracing within it the tired trope wash me, well then, good sir or madam, the joke is on them. There are a number of far-more-sophisticated slanders to scrawl in scum, such as:
"Your purchase of this hybrid luxury SUV pays laughable lip-service to notions of long-term environmental sustainability."
"The DVDs on the back seat of your car indicate a poor awareness of how DVDs are cared for, as well as questionable taste in cinema. Madagascar 2, truly? Even if the intended recipient is a child (or children), surely they would be better served and delighted by the depth and richness of Cocteau's 1946 masterpiece, La Belle et la Bête, or the surreal and challenging animation of La Planète Sauvage, both available from the Criterion Collection. For more suggestions, please email me at [your email address]."
"You drive like a Royalist might have, should the American Revolution have occurred in the age of automobiles…backward!" (Note: Ellipsis points are thumbprints.)
