Groupon Says
Why Sobby?
There's no better way to impress a first date or prospective business client than by taking them out for a delicate mess of delicious sushi. Unfortunately, there's no bigger way to blow it than to get lost in the conversation while your chopsticks accidentally drop a horseradishy bomb on your tongue in the form of a glob of wasabi the size of your thumbtip. Don't panic. With these helpful steps, you can turn potential spicy embarrassment into a secret shame.
Step 1: Smile and nod. If your companion asks why you appear to be crying, point at a sad picture hanging on the wall, or if a sad picture is not available due to your being in a restaurant, simply draw a raccoon caught in a bear trap and then point at your own mind to indicate that you are distraught by this notion.
Step 2: Exit gracefully. At this stage, the sinus-blasting spiciness will still impede your ability to speak with dignity, but try "accidentally" dropping your chopsticks, shrugging magnanimously as if to say "clumsy me," and crawling under the table for the duration of the episode. While there, appraise the approximate value of your companion's shoes and file away your best guesstimate for future leverage.
Step 3: Distraction. If you are unable to exit the situation without revealing your condition, rewrite the script with an inspired distraction. Overturn the table suddenly and writhe as though covered by wasps moving too quickly to be seen. Or, alternatively, throw your plate flawlessly into the fire alarm, triggering a blaring salute to your marksmanship. Once outside, the commotion of lights and sirens will provide adequate cover, allowing you to briefly submerge your head in a nearby fountain and return to your appointment refreshed and looking like a million soggy dollars. Happy dining!
