Groupon Says
Humans’ Natural Mask
Like breaking through the Earth’s atmosphere with a spaceship, controlling one's hair is scientifically possible, but clearly in violation of what nature intended. Hair grows downward, toward the face, and its natural purpose is to cover the face for reasons both temperate and aesthetic. A hair-covered face is warmer and more appealing to look at than a normal face, which is often overrun with natural protrusions, such as noses and ears, unpleasant natural openings, and freakish soul-mirrors.
Though faces are necessary to collect and process most sense data, conversation, and physical attraction, these things are impossible to do with a face in its uncovered state. That's why evolution has gifted us with a natural means to cover our unappealing faces. If, however, your hair has grown past face-covering length or has unnaturally begun growing upward, then by all means, visit a hair doctor and mend your face-cover at once.
