Groupon Says

The Groupon Guide to: Being a Good Friend

Though many of life's accomplishments are important—working as a reading tutor, not setting fire to every mailbox you happen to pass—only one accomplishment matters in the long run: being a good friend. Follow these friendship tips to separating besties from the resties:

• Every time you're drinking something, offer your friend a sip from your glass. If they decline, show them there's nothing to worry about by sterilizing your own mouth with a crème brûlée torch.

• Pick up the check whenever possible—but don’t stop there. Use your intimate knowledge of your friend to glean possible passwords to their online bank accounts and transfer their funds into a high-yield CD just in case they want to save up to go to college again.

• What's your friend's favorite animal? Do they own one yet? Could you conceivably get them one? Keep in mind that the word "impossible" was most likely invented by a bad friend.