Groupon Says

The Groupon Guide to: Talking to Dogs

The mutual affinity between humans and dogs is often hampered by a natural language barrier. Fortunately, if spoken in an affectionate tone formerly reserved for babies, dogs are able to fully understand any of the following phrases:

• “Whoosa good boy?”
• “Go forra walk?”
• “Thank you for that bird, but I don’t want that bird! Wanna go bury that bird? Who’s gonna go bury that bird?”
• “Chew up this evidence of mail fraud! That’s my girl.”
• “Wait a minute, who’s secretly been a dog-shaped pile of laundry this whole time? That’s right—YOU have!”