Groupon Says

The Groupon Guide to: Your Dream Body

If you find yourself with hours and hours of free time every day, spend it productively—by thinking about or drawing your dream body. Here are some things that belong on the perfect you:

• Long, flowing hair
• Long, flowing foot hair, so you can donate regularly to a wig shop without cutting your head hair
• Two noses: one for smelling and one for eating small foods
• Edible, beef-flavored tongue
• Legs and arms switched
• Fingers that somehow aren't as disgusting as normal human fingers. Maybe they don't have knuckles, or each finger has a diamond-shaped tip. Anything to make them less disgusting.
• Entirely sword-resistant