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Groupon Says

The Groupon Guide to: Escaping a Glass Prison Cell

With new weird laws constantly being passed, there's a good chance you'll probably be convicted of an obscure crime and sentenced to imprisonment in a large glass holding cell. Here's how you can get out:

• Glass will melt at a certain temperature, but why bother going through all that trouble when you can just break it by throwing yourself against one of the walls?

• Look around for structural weaknesses. If you can't find any, you're not looking hard enough because that holding cell is composed of large pieces of easily breakable glass.

• Turn around and pick up that 40-pound sledgehammer that's been sitting in the corner this entire time. When your adrenaline starts pumping from lifting that heavy sledgehammer, put it back down and use that adrenaline surge to propel your body straight through the glass.

• In movies, people are always shattering nearby drinking glasses and windows by singing in an unbearably high pitch. Do the same thing, but instead of singing, just use any solid part of your body to smash that glass!