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The Groupon Guide to: Getting to the Head of the Class

The Groupon Guide to: Getting to the Head of the Class

It's a proven fact that people who do well in school are more likely to rise to the top of competitive job markets and prison hierarchies. Here are some tips for becoming the cream of the academic crop:

Bring Your Teacher an Apple: Teachers are notoriously starved for potassium because they're so busy teaching everyone else that they don’t have time to teach themselves about nutrition.

Answer Every Question: Teachers don't know the answers to anything, which is why they have to ask their students. Help out the people who were so busy teaching that they never had time to learn.

Watch TV Instead of Doing Your Homework: Teachers are so busy teaching that they have no time to watch TV. You're the only one who will be able to fill them in on the hilarious happenings during the most recent episode of I'd Like to File a Complaint—About My Wife!