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Groupon Says

The Groupon Guide to: Harebrained Schemes

These days it seems like everyone has some kind of harebrained get-rich-quick scheme. Use this handy guide to sort out whether a scheme is destined for failure or straight for the bank:

Scheme: Your neighbor Robert wants you to open a flower shop with him.
Verdict: Harebrained. Robert inherited the flower shop from his father, but in order to keep the shop’s best customer, Mrs. Winifred Downing, you’ll have to pretend that Robert’s father is still alive and court Mrs. Downing in his guise.

Scheme: Your boyfriend, Calvin, wants to get married.
Verdict: Harebrained. Calvin will use the marriage as a contract to bind you together both financially and spiritually. Once you’ve signed the paperwork, Calvin can move into your house and even use your toilet.

Scheme: Your older cousin, Harrison, wants to build an airplane in the front yard and charge local children to take rides in it.
Verdict: Legitimate. This is a business opportunity you won’t want to pass up, just to see every other family in the neighborhood raking in money with their front-yard aeronautics companies. Sign over all of your bank accounts and government bonds to Harrison as soon as possible.