Groupon Says

The Groupon Guide to: Being Chased by a Man with a Pitchfork

Uh oh, you've done it again. You've angered that old farmer. You're going to have to run if you don't want to end up in the hog trough tonight. Here's the plan:

• Bust through the back doors of the barn and head east toward the cow pasture. The rising sun will temporarily blind the farmer, causing him to dramatically pause and survey the landscape before pursuing you.

• Use the time you've bought to jump the cow fence and head through the pasture. Roll underneath one of the cows, causing it to stand up on its hind legs, lift up its udders, and say "excuuuuuse me!"

• Look behind you to see that the farmer is now pursuing you in a pickup truck, waving his pitchfork out the window. Let him catch you with the pitchfork right under the strap of your overalls and carry you on the pitchfork for about 100 yards.

• Flail your arms as you dangle from the pitchfork.

• As the farmer approaches the hogs' mud pile—where he'll surely stop short, flinging you off the pitchfork and into the mud—grab on a low-hanging tree branch. Swing your body off the pitchfork and up onto the branch, so that you can blissfully wave as the farmer looks back at you in surprise and accidentally runs his truck into the mud.