Groupon Says

The Groupon Guide to: a Pretty Flower

Once in a great while, a fleeting glimpse of natural color may catch your eye, and you will become lost in the simple wonder of gazing at a pretty flower. Here is how to do so correctly:

• Look at the flower. It is beautiful.

• You may be tempted to pick the flower. Do not—simply let it be.

• Lean in and smell the flower. If you are allergic to flowers you may wish to skip this step or, instead, you can just use a flexible twig to first prod the folds of the flower gently to ensure that it is free of honeybees, which may sting or startle.

• Again, you may become tempted to pick the flower, justifying the floracide by picturing the flower adorning your sweetheart’s hair or lapel. Continue to resist. If your honeybunch is the sort to manipulate you into murdering flowers so they can cultivate an anachronistic aesthetic, you’re better off just spending the rest of the day staring at this flower while their coffee goes cold waiting for you at the coffee shop.

• Keep them waiting. Your mother was right about them. Just like this guide is right about flowers.