Groupon Says

The Groupon Guide to: Victorian Housekeeping

Victorian England was a truly innovative time, and many of their practices are still used today. Give your home a timeless feel with these useful Victorian housekeeping tips:

• One is advised to keep a hedgehog in one’s kitchen to track and consume winged pests. He should be given a ceremonial hat and epaulets and thusly referred to as one’s kitchen soldier.

• When polishing one’s bronzed baby teeth and statues of weeping seraphim, one must never wipe in the vulgar counterclockwise motion.

• Cleanse a room with fire should anyone have committed nudity in it.

• Ease your toils by apprehending a passing waif and attach soaped mops to his stalwart feet. Then inform him that this Christmas he shall receive a portion of sweet meats. His excited dances will clean all that surrounds him. Once done have the police escort him to the debtors' prison.

• Only tears of genuine repentance shall remove any stains from spilt food.