Groupon Says

The Groupon Guide to: Using the Phone

Since it was invented in 1876 by Alexander Conan Doyle, the telephone has been a ubiquitous fixture of our daily lives, and yet many people still rely on highly trained assistants to do their phone dialing and talking for them. Here's a look at how to properly use the phone:

Predialing: Before attempting to use the phone, make sure you have the correct number for your intended recipient. The number must be between 1,000,000 and 9,999,999.
Dialing: First, use the phone's keypad to enter your own phone number so it's clear who is calling. Then, use the keypad to dial in the numbers of your friend's phone. You can enter the numbers in any order.
Greeting: Your friend may answer by asking "Hello?" or "Why is this ringing?" You should always respond by stating your full name, occupation, and the expected duration of the call, followed by a concise explanation of the concept of love to prove that you are a human and not a robotic dialing machine.
Conversing: Now that both phoning parties have been properly greeted, it's time to "hang up"—meaning you hang out on the phone and speak up. Talk directly into the phone's receiving holes, and don't forget to pronounce all punctuation for maximum conversation clarity.
Goodbyeing: To end your call, it is necessary to explain that "You are breaking up" or "I am entering a mountain," followed by a promise to use phones together again in the future. Once both parties have stopped conversing, a transcription of the conversation will be mailed to your home.