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Groupon Says

The Groupon Guide to: Phone Greetings

Any boring person with a tongue in their face can pick up the phone and say “hello.” Here are some creative ways to answer your phone:

• "Hi, who is this? No, don’t tell me! I want to have a confusing conversation."

• "Hello, you’ve reached the Walking and Talking hotline. I just got a brand-new mobile phone, so I’ll be moving around my house and going to the bathroom while I talk to you."

• "Gavin sucks! Just kidding, Gavin, you don’t suck. Oh, this is Gavin’s mom? Oh, I’m so sorry, Mrs. Gavin. I’ll go get my mom."

• "Hello, Culver household. Margaret speaking. Edmond listening. Children not listening but tucked snugly in their beds. Fear hiding quietly under the floorboards."

• "Hey there! Thanks for calling! I’m busy, so call back and leave a message."

• "Hey there! Oh gosh darn it, you were trying to leave that message, weren’t you? OK, here we go again."

• "Hey there! OH, SHOOT! OH, SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT!"