Though scientists have determined the greatest weight loss occurs from wrestling tigers and riding stampeding wildebeests, reports are mixed on the long-term effects of the resulting terror. Slim down without prolonged adrenaline highs with today's Groupon: for $69, you get a 90-day weight loss program and supplements from NutriMedical Wellness and Weight Loss Institute, redeemable online (a $580 value). Groupon customers also receive two $50 vouchers for use on separate purchases over $100 each of wellness or weight-loss products.
The sherpa-like support at NutriMedical Wellness and Weight Loss Institute guides clients to the peaks of better health through natural, safe, and holistic programs. The home weight-loss online program is designed to pass health-conscious individuals the reins so they can take control of their journey toward slimdom. Unlimited access to a personalized nutrition coach establishes accountability for daily diet choices and NutriInfo’s mobile meal-tracking tools keep tabs on calorie consumption and the point spread on underground food fights. Fat-busting meal plans offer simple, healthy solutions to dining quandaries.
The 90-day program includes supplements that can help clients shave away extraneous weight so they can fit more effortlessly into slim lockers during nostalgic high-school reunions. A 280-serving supply of NutriMedical's proprietary NutriPex SM weight-loss supplement aids the body in its fat-shaving quest by expanding within the stomach and simulating feelings of fullness earlier. A personal nutrition coach is on call for 24-hour online-chat or phone support for those with questions or the temptation to join the Hamburglar for one final heist.
Groupon Says
The Groupon Guide to: Superfoods
Deemed “superfoods” by organic grocers and by bank robbers whose escapes are foiled by slipping on their rinds, certain foods have nutritional attributes that recharge the human body in strange and amazing ways:
Pomegranates: Best known from the ancient Greek myth of Persephone, wherein the fabled Cyprian princess had to eat 30 pomegranates in under a minute to banish Rumpelstiltskin back to Hades, the antioxidant properties of pomegranates are used to turn harmful toxins into harmless chronic snoring.
Açaí Berry: First constructed in genetic laboratories in 2002, these superfruits are the most common phrase to appear in online banner ads, narrowly edging out “You won’t believe” and “She wore what?!” Eating a handful of açaí berries will give you one hour of laser vision, often directed outward.
Broccoli: Nutritiously toxic? This iron-rich death blossom warns human children not to eat it by giving them one poison-free bite as a warning. Children then instinctively know to refuse further consumption and are rewarded for their evolutionary savvy with a life-size chocolate catcher’s mitt.
Comment on our feelings board
