Automobiles have bad hygiene due to taking shortcuts through sewers, deflecting hitchhiking clowns' cream pies, and never applying deodorant to their armrest-pits. Cleanse your car with today's Groupon: for $20, you get five ultimate washes (a $40 value) at Crystal Clean Carwash, located in Lee's Summit.
Crystal Clean Carwash's newly renovated automatic wash facilities banish wheelmobiles' grime and gunk so they can cruise the town looking spotlessly slick. An ultimate wash starts with a high-pressure undercarriage blast, which tickles dust and debris from your car's underbelly. Then, a rocker panel blaster will expunge shoeprints and gorilla-lipstick marks. Next comes a two-pass rinse. Hot, foaming pre-soak and triple-foam conditioner adorn the car with a pleasant scent, and a high-velocity dryer leaves the motorized carriage prim and speckless. Finish the process with a coat of Durashield with Body Armor car protectant, a polymer coating that will protect your car's exterior from UV rays, bird droppings, and MC Hammer's sledgehammer. You'll also receive complimentary access to Crystal Clean Carwash's self-service vacuum.
You must redeem your Groupon within six months to receive your five-pass wash card, which has no expiration date.
Groupon Says
Wash Levels
Today's Groupon gives you access to five ultimate washes. This package fully complies with the package-level requirements set forth by the National Automotive Scrubbers Association, or NASA, which dictates what services come with what wash package. What are some of the others?
- Gold Package: Comes with glamour shots of your car in six different outfits
- Porcelain Package: Toilets installed in all seats
- Stained-Glass Package: Your car is given a guaranteed spot in heaven
- Nickel Package: Wet cats crawl across your car for 30 minutes
- Blood Package: Blood
- Sassafras Package: Your car is cleaned and reinvigorated with a series of miracle tonics, making it stronger than most men
- Freaky Friday Package: You and your car switch bodies
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